Who Am I to Say
by Jasmk16
Summary: To the audience the sound was beautiful, it sounded bitterly sweet with the song. But Jade knew that sound all too well.It was the sound of a heart breaking. Her heart was breaking. Tori's heart was breaking.


**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews and alerts!**

Thanks for reminding me that I do **not** own **Victorious**! }:

**Hope you enjoy!**

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><p>"For the love of- Just forget it, Vega!" Jade groaned angrily. She rolled her eyes and stormed off leaving the brunette to stand alone back stage.<p>

Tori rubbed her neck in attempt to calm down. Third time. It was the _third_ time they had fought that day. Tori knew from the start it was not going to be a sweet walk in the park with Jade. When they first began to date it had felt almost like a dream. It was all too good to be true, Tori had thought. Six months later Tori was beginning to believe it _was_too good to be true.

They were fighting more constantly. The fights were usually about small pointless things and Jade seemed to always blame her for everything. Maybe it was her fault. Maybe it was her fault the Goth was so unhappy. Maybe she was the reason Jade was so unhappy.

Jade and Tori had confessed their love for each other in the first month they had begun dating. It was great in the beginning, the two girls were inseparable. Not that Tori hated being around Jade now, but these days it seemed like that was the only way to stop the arguing. Tori knew she loved Jade. She loved her with everything she was. But she couldn't say the same for the Goth. She couldn't speak for her.

It was the Friday Night concert at Hollywood Arts and Tori was next in line to perform. She had been debating whether or not she should go through with the song she had chosen. The fight with Jade had only served to encourage her. Maybe it was time for Tori to accept the reality of their relationship. It was too good to be true. She loved Jade, but did Jade love her?

"Up next, Tori Vega!" The host announced.

Tori rubbed her neck again. She tried shaking off the fight and concentrated on walking toward the stage. The bright lights burned her eyes as it settled on her. Tori hadn't felt this nervous since the first showcase she performed in. She stared out into the crowd in search of the blue eyes she adored so much. Jade was sitting in the front row with her legs crossed. She didn't look as upset, but it was clear in her eyes there was still some anger. Tori let out a shaky breath as she sat on the stool. She inhaled and exhaled, calming herself and taking hold of the microphone.

Andre was accompanying her on the piano. He gave her an encouraging smile and nodded ready for her signal.

This was the only way to get her message through to the girl she loved. She cleared her throat nodding for Andre to begin. She stared into the blue eyes and began.

_**Love of my life, my soul mate**__**  
><strong>__**You're my best friend**_

Jade sat up immediately recognizing the song. _What is Tori doing_? She thought.

_**Part of me like breathing**__**  
><strong>__**Now half of me is left**_

_**Don't know anything at all**__**  
><strong>__**Who am I to say you love me**_

Jade felt her heart tighten at the words. Why was Tori singing this song? It didn't feel right to hear such sad words coming out of such a beautiful person. Was she okay?

_**I don't know anything at all**__**  
><strong>__**And who am I to say you need me**_

Tori thought about the first time they kissed. Jade had taken her out on a date, their first date. Her hold on the mic tightened as she remembered how happy they _used _to be.

_**Color me blue I'm lost in you**__**  
><strong>__**Don't know why I'm still waiting**__**  
><strong>__**Many moons have come and gone**__**  
><strong>__**Don't know why I'm still searching**_

"I love you, Tori." Jade had been the first one to say it. It was the anniversary of their first month together. Tori had never dreamed of hearing the Goth say those words, let alone to her. Tori felt over joyed knowing the girl loved her, too. "I love you, Jade," she smiled. Her heart felt like it was ready to burst from the joy.

_**Don't know anything at all**__**  
><strong>__**And who am I to say you love me**__**  
><strong>__**I don't know anything at all**__**  
><strong>__**And who am I to say you need me**___

___**Now you're a song I love to sing**__**  
><strong>__**Never thought it'd feel so free**_

Jade clenched her jaw knowing what the next line was. She saw the flicker of pain flash in the brown eyes. Jade bit her tongue in anger. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be happening.

___**Now I know what's meant to be**__**  
><strong>__**And that's okay with me**_

Tori was opening herself up and allowing Jade to see her at her most vulnerable state out in the open. Was she really okay with it?

_**But who am I to say you love me**__**  
><strong>__**And who am I to say you need me**__**  
><strong>__**And who am I to say you love me**_

Tori tore her eyes from the pale girl and shut them tightly. She concentrated on the words as they slipped off her tongue. It was hurting too much, but she had to let the Goth know. Jade had to know how she felt.

_**I don't know anything at all**__**  
><strong>__**And who am I to say you love me**__**  
><strong>__**I don't know anything at all**__**  
><strong>__**And who am I to say you need me**__**  
><strong>__**I don't know anything at all**_

She fought back the urge to cry and swallowed hard breathing in as the next words came out.

_**I don't know anything at all**_

The final words were barely above a whisper. Jade could have sworn she saw a tear slip down the caramel cheek before the lights dimmed signaling the end of the concert. She recognized the pain in the voice as it cracked. To the audience the sound was beautiful, it sounded bitterly sweet with the song. But Jade knew that sound all too well. It was the same sound she had heard the day Beck broke up with her. It was the sound of a heart breaking. Her heart was breaking. _Tori's heart_ was breaking.

Jade stood feeling enraged and ran off as the crowd broke into a roar of cheers and whistling.

Tori watched as the crowd went wild. She searched the crowd for the Goth and was disappointed when she was nowhere to be found.

"Great job, Tori!" Andre said taking pulling her into a strong hug.

Tori nodded swallowing the lump in her throat. She blinked several times in attempt to keep the tears down. Unable to handle her emotions she ran off of the stage excusing herself. She ran past Cat, Beck, and Robbie who tried to congratulate her, but she dismissed them with a wave and weak smile before entering the dressing room.

Usually the room was filled with other performers luckily Tori had the room to herself. The brunette settled on one of the make-up chairs in front of a mirror. She hated being weak in front of people. She hated crying. She hated the stupid song. She hated… _No_ she didn't. She couldn't even allow herself to think of the girl badly. She loved her too much.

Tori wiped away the fresh tears. The song was meant to let the Goth know how she felt and she had expected the Goth to react, perhaps start another fight. She didn't expect Jade to leave. It shouldn't have been a surprise either, but she didn't expect it to hurt so much. The more the brunette tried to push away the any thoughts of the blue eyed girl the worst her sobbing became.

"_**Now I know what's meant to be**__**and that's okay with me**__," _she thought. "It's not okay," she whispered to herself. "It's _not_ okay!" She cried as she slammed her fist down hard on the counter. That was going to hurt in the morning. Trying to divert her attention to the pain on her hand she ran her thumb over the painfully throbbing knuckles.

"Tori," it was a whisper.

The brunette froze. She shook her head hard and covered her ears refusing to believe the voice was real. It was just a hallucination. Jade had left. She left.

"Tori," said the voice a little closer.

"Just leave me alone. You're not real. Jade left. She's…" Tori began to cry once more.

"Tori please look at me." A pair of warm hands took hold of the girl's face raising it. "I'm right here," Jade whispered. "I'm right here, baby." Jade wrapped her arms around Tori and held her close as she cried.

"Jade," she sobbed. "I thought you'd… I thought…" Tori wanted to push the girl away. She wanted to hate the girl, make the girl hurt like she was hurting. But she wanted to hold the girl, too. She wanted to kiss her and tell her how much she loved her.

"I'm right here," Jade cooed. "Why didn't you tell me, Tori?" Jade clenched her jaw feeling angry. Angry at herself for causing the girl she loved so much to cry, to hurt. After the performance had ended she had tried to get to the young Vega as quickly as possible, but the damn crowd seemed to be going against her as they made it difficult for her to reach the stage. In attempt to reach the girl she ran around to the other end of the stage only to find everyone else except Tori back stage. Beck gave her a knowing look and nodded in the direction of the dressing room.

Tori broke away from the brunette's embrace and looked down at her bruising hand. "We're always fighting, Jade. I just don't know what to think anymore. It seems like you were much better off without me. Like you don't need me." She looked up and smiled sadly. "Maybe you _are_ better off without me." _I'm not good enough, _she thought, _I'll never be good enough_.

Jade furrowed her brows. "Don't you ever say that again," she warned.

"Why not? I'm not good enough!" Tori voiced her thoughts in a louder tone. "I'm not! I won't ever be good enough for you! I can see it in your eyes, Jade when you're angry. Not once have you looked at me the way you did when you said-" Tori stopped. She gave a bitter laugh shaking her head. "The irony," she whispered. "Who am I to say you love me?" Tori blinked. "I love you, Jade. I love you so much, but I don't want to be the reason you're so angry at the world." She looked down trying desperately not to let the tears take over. "I just want you to be happy."

Jade crashed her lips against the brunette's shutting her up. "Vega, breathe." She stroked the wet cheek softly and sighed. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know- I-" Jade closed her mouth, took a breath and began once more. "Tori Vega, I love you. I love you with all my heart. I'm so sorry," she whispered. "If anything it should be the other way around." Jade gave a small smile. "You're not the one who has to beat away the boys who are always shamelessly drooling over you."

Tori smiled a little. "Then why do you always look at me like that?" She felt like a child. "Like you hate me?"

Jade searched in the chocolate brown eyes. How could she make this girl feel so low? She loved Tori. She didn't want to hurt her. In the attempt of protecting her she had only made her feel worthless and small. Jade felt tears burning in her eyes as she went to answer. "I don't hate you, Tori. I _can't_ hate. I _won't _hate you. I love you so much. It just scares me." She took hold of the bruised hand, cursing at herself once more. "I was trying to protect you from me. I didn't want to hurt you. I guess in trying to protect you I wound up doing what I was trying to prevent. In the end I still hurt you." She ran her thumb over the bruised knuckle lightly.

Tori winced in pain. She was sure the hand was at least fractured.

"You broke my heart, Jade," Tori's voice was small. "I thought you hated me. Really I was just about ready to be unhappy and break up with you if it meant you would be happy again."

Jade shook her head. "I'm sorry." The tears ran down the pale cheeks as the words to what she had known all along were finally confirmed. She had broken Tori's heart. "I won't ever break your heart again. I didn't mean to-"

This time Tori cut her off with a soft kiss. "You didn't mean it." The look in the dark haired girl's eyes made the aching in the brunette's heart go away. She knew now that Jade really did love her and that was all that mattered. "I love you, Jade," Tori whispered.

"I love you," Jade smiled. "You are my everything, Tori. You are the _**love of my life, my soul mate. You are my best friend**_." She recited the beginning of the song because those words rang with truth.

Tori smiled bringing their lips together once more. "_**Now I know what's meant to be**__**and that's okay with me**_," She whispered this time the words had a different meaning behind them. She knew what was really meant to be. Jade and Tori was all that mattered.

"Meant to be," Jade smiled against the lips in agreement.

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><p><strong>What did you think?<strong>

**_Review_ please! [;**

**I love this song by the way. It's Who Am I by Hope**

**I just couldn't ****get this idea out of my head all day and well here is what happened! ^_^**

**P.S. This was not the project I was talking about.**

**I'll update Lost Along the way soon (;**


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